In the span of our work lives, we are bound to come into contact with at least a few toxic or difficult co-workers, or at the very least, those who can be downright annoying. This colleague may be a boss, a member of your work team or someone you may only have to interact with occasionally; however, if annoyance morphs into dread, things may very well end miserably. So, how do we handle these difficult and toxic co-workers?
Challenging colleagues can become even more of a problem when we are forced to work closely with them or interact with them regularly. This may take a toll on both our mental and physical health if the interactions are unpleasant or toxic. If interactions with a colleague include harmful behaviour towards us, it can cause chronic stress and frustration, leading to feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. The actions of toxic co-workers can range from annoying to downright abusive.
There are definitely some recognisable ‘types’ of challenging colleagues in our workplaces. Here are some common ones.
The Office Bully:
If we ever knew or were involved in an argument with a bully at school, facing a bully in the workplace is a completely different scenario. Living in constant fear and frustration isn’t an option if we don’t want to be an anxious wreck at work every day, or worse, become depressed. Whilst getting into a verbal stoush with a bully at work isn’t a good idea (especially if they are our boss), firing back with direct remarks (sarcasm works a treat) gives the bully the message that we’re not going to back down any time soon. This may even elevate us to hero status in the eyes of our co-workers.
The Passive-Aggressive Co-Worker:
These co-workers are quite toxic, and they’re generally indirect in the way they communicate with their colleagues. They are the ones who may have said one thing to you and then another to your manager. The ‘passive’ side of this individual comes from fear; usually fear of conflict, because these individuals are usually cowards, whilst the ‘aggressive’ side sees them acting out or speaking up in passive, non-confrontational ways.
The Drama Queen:
The Drama Queen is a stand-out at work, simply because they seem to create an emotional tornado out of any situation at all. Drama Queens just love drama. They are simply attention-seekers and distractors. They usually create drama to distract others from their professional shortcomings, and the reason they often survive in the workplace is because no one calls them out on their behaviour.
The Office Gossip:
This colleague just doesn’t know when to shut their mouth. They always have plenty of ‘stories’ to bandy around: Who’s having an affair with whom, who’s in line to be given the golden handshake, why the boss yelled at one of the admin assistants the other day, the real reason the ‘looker’ from IT was promoted over her superior or why the manager of one department hates another. Giving the Office Gossip the time of day means that you will accomplish little or nothing in your working day and probably be at risk of falling behind in your work, or worse.
The Over-Sharer:
This person has no personal sensor. From their annoying health issues to the micro-details of each and every date they go on, their current relationship issues, status and dramas, sharing the latest five hundred photos of their kids or pets, they share it all, with any person who gives them the time of day.
The Slacker:
These co-workers are the ones who do the minimal amount of work to just get by. Lazy colleagues are dangerous simply because they fly under the radar of management. Other team members usually end up over-compensating by doing their work for them, especially when there’s a deadline to be met.
The Whinger:
These annoying co-workers do nothing but complain about everything; their workload, the company policies, the management, their colleagues; you name it, they’ll complain about it. They’ve probably worked at the same office since it was founded and they’re probably never going to leave.
The Boot Licker:
Whilst making friends with those higher up the pay scale is their first and foremost priority, these individuals are generally unconcerned with what their co-workers think of their tactics and antics. A word of warning here: beware the bootlicker, as they also tend to mask their other nasty side, ‘the backstabber’. These co-workers also won’t hesitate to steal your ideas or, even worse, badmouth you to the management.
We can’t choose our colleagues or control their sometimes toxic or annoying behaviour, but we can control how we react to them. Here are some tips:
Don’t take it personally:
The challenging colleague’s actions say more about themselves than about you.
Keep your distance:
If possible, distance yourself from these individuals physically; however, also detach from them mentally and emotionally. Note their actions, interact with them only if you have to and try to manage your reactions and emotions towards them; keep your cool, and also make sure to establish firm boundaries to minimise interaction with toxic colleagues. https://sydneyhillscounselling.com.au/blog/boundaries-why-are-they-important/
Make a formal complaint if you need to:
If a colleague’s behaviour becomes inappropriate and unprofessional, it may be time to make a complaint to the HR manager or their equivalent. Only complain, however, if a colleague or co-worker has breached policies, procedures or has ignored regulations; don’t ever make a complaint about a colleague a personal one.
Focus on yourself and your career goals:
As upset as you may be about a colleague’s behaviour, try to resist the temptation to obsess and focus on their behaviour as you may very well sabotage your career. Remember why you applied for the role in the first place and where you eventually want it to lead.
If you enjoy your work, don’t let challenging colleagues stand in your way of succeeding in your career. If you find that a colleague’s behaviour is taking a toll on your mental and/or physical health, seek the help of a professional counsellor. Sydney Hills Counselling offers face-to-face counselling in the Hills District, or alternatively, we also offer telecounselling if you prefer. Call Sydney Hills Counselling today on (02)) 9159-6277 or 0491 079 753. Alternatively, email us at [email protected] to schedule an appointment with us.
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