Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, otherwise known as DBT, is a branch of the better-known, evidence-based Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (or CBT) model. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is one of the most popular modalities used by psychologists and counsellors. CBT focuses on helping clients identify their negative patterns of thinking and highlights the negative effects this may be having on their lives. DBT builds further on this focus and aims to help clients who have difficulty regulating their emotions, who indulge in self-destructive behaviour and / or who have difficulty maintaining good interpersonal relations with others. Can Dialectical Behaviour Therapy help us to lead happier lives?
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, also known as DBT, was developed by eminent psychologist, Marsha Linehan in the 1980’s. The DBT model was originally developed to work with individuals who have Borderline Personality Disorder and who were suicidal. Studies have shown however, that DBT is also effective for numerous other mental health disorders including addiction issues, PTSD, anxiety and eating disorders. It can also help those people with poor emotional control, patterns of impulsive behaviour and self-harming behaviours.
DBT is also considered an effective treatment for trauma because it can help people manage intense emotions and impulsive behaviour. DBT offers individuals the tools to heal from trauma and improve their mental wellness. DBT focuses on providing psychoeducation in four areas: mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation. https://sydneyhillscounselling.com.au/blog/mindfulness-for-mental-health-and-wellbeing/
There are some remarkably valuable lessons which can be learned from DBT, and they’re not just for those people who have mental health issues. All of us in fact, can benefit from practising the following tips when challenging situations present themselves in our lives.
Your feelings are not ‘facts’….
Just because we ‘feel’ something, doesn’t mean that it’s true. Just because you may be feeling offended by what someone has said to you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they intended to upset you. Instead of allowing ourselves to negatively react to a given situation, we should take a second to refocus our thoughts and then decide; is this really worth getting angry or upset about? or how is reacting in an angry way going to be helpful? What we really need to focus on is what we can and can’t control. We have little control over what others’ do and say to us, however we can control our own thoughts, feelings and how we respond.
Accept that we’re not perfect and neither are others…
Learning is a journey; not a destination. Nobody is perfect and we’re never going to be perfect. There’s also no perfect parent, brother, sister, partner or friend. We need to accept that we and the other important people in our lives are going to slip up sometimes and that’s OK. Accepting that we all have imperfections is a way that we can avoid suffering. Counsellors and mental health practitioners aren’t perfect either. Many people seek counselling hoping that they will be magically solve their problems and turn them into perfect beings, however as ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist, this won’t ever happen. All any of us can do each day is to try our best and accept ourselves even when we fail. If we allow ourselves to make mistakes, it will make our lives significantly happier and healthier. That’s not to say though that we shouldn’t bother working on ourselves or seeking professional help to improve our lives.
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional…
While the majority of us can’t go through life without experiencing pain, we do in fact have a choice about how we respond to it. Victor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, neurologist, psychiatrist and author said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Most people go straight from stimulus to response without thinking, reacting the same way over and over again, never realising that they have a choice to think and respond in a more mindful way. We can’t choose whether or not we will experience pain, however we can choose to not fight it or become overly attached to it; we can choose to ultimately ‘let it go’. Letting go can sometimes feel downright scary, however it may also set us free from the pain we’re hanging on to and that can feel immensely liberating.
Allow yourself a daily indulgence…
Life can be considerably challenging sometimes, so it’s important that we consciously increase the joyful experiences in our lives. It can be really beneficial for us to allow ourselves little self-indulgences on a regular basis; every day is even better! More often than not, we become so caught up in the chaos of everyday living, that we neglect to have fun and may regularly find ourselves putting our favourite activities on our ‘to-do-when-I-have-more-time’ list. We often attribute this to just not having enough time or having more important things to do, however we should consider that having some fun and enjoying ourselves is extremely important for our mental health and well-being and it should be one of our top priorities. Make having some fun a priority and do something for yourself every day; whatever brings you joy; just do it!
Working with a registered, professional counsellor can help you to cope better with challenging emotions that may be impacting your close relationships. Counselling can also provide you with strategies and techniques to help you navigate the distressing symptoms of overwhelm these mental states can create. For further information, or to schedule a counselling session, contact us today on (02) 9159 6277 for a confidential chat on how we can help you, or you can email us at [email protected].
Copyright © 2025 by Sydney Hills Counselling
