Joanie (not her real name) came to see me as she was feeling ‘numb’. She could show up for her work and meet her deadlines, keep up with household tasks, attend to the needs of her family, but she said that she felt no joy, no excitement; just empty and devoid of any positive feelings. Although not a clinical diagnosis, Joanie seemed to be showing symptoms of Functional Depression.
Functional Depression is not a DSM diagnosis and is deemed to be controversial as it can create stigma and misinterpretation. For many individuals, the term feels painfully accurate. It describes a quiet, often invisible form of depression where life looks “fine” from the outside—work gets done, bills get paid, responsibilities are met, family is doing fine —but internally, everything feels heavy, numb, or exhausting. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/202204/the-keys-to-understanding-high-functioning-depression
If you’ve ever thought, “I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, so why do I still feel like this?” this may resonate.
What Functional Depression Looks Like
People with functional depression often don’t match the stereotype of someone who is depressed. They may:
- Show up to work every day and perform well
- Maintain relationships and social plans
- Appear organised, capable, or even successful
- Keep routines going out of necessity, not energy
But beneath that functionality, they may experience:
- Persistent emptiness or emotional numbness
- Chronic fatigue that rest doesn’t fix
- Have regularfeelings of sadness
- Experience feelings of low confidence and not feeling good enough
- Lack feelings of joy or pleasure
- Find future planning difficult
- Experience low feelings of hope for the future
- Have difficulty concentrating or making definitive decisions
- A constant sense of “going through the motions”
- Loss of joy, motivation, or meaning
- Harsh self-criticism (“Other people have it worse—I shouldn’t feel this way”)
Because they’re still functioning, their pain often goes unnoticed—by others and sometimes even by themselves.
Why Functional Depression Is So Easy to Miss
Functional depression maintains a low profile.
Society tends to equate depression with visible collapse: missed work, isolation, inability to cope. When someone keeps going, their struggle is often minimized or dismissed. Friends may say things like:
- “But you’re doing so well.”
- “You’re always so productive.”
- “Everyone feels tired sometimes.”
Over time, people with functional depression may learn to invalidate themselves too. They tell themselves they’re just stressed, lazy, ungrateful, or dramatic—anything but depressed.
The Cost of “Holding It Together”
Functioning through depression takes an enormous amount of energy. Many people describe it as living life on manual mode.
Common long-term effects include:
- Burnout from constant emotional suppression
- Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or insomnia
- Emotional detachment from people and experiences
- A growing fear of slowing down because everything might collapse
Ironically, the ability to function can delay getting help. When you’re still meeting expectations, it can feel like you don’t “deserve” support.
Functional Depression Is Still Depression
Being functional does not mean you’re fine.
Depression isn’t defined by how productive you are—it’s defined by how you feel and how long you’ve been carrying that weight. You don’t need to reach a breaking point to justify care. Quiet suffering still counts.
For some people, functional depression overlaps with conditions like persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia), high-functioning anxiety, or chronic stress. Regardless of labels, the experience is real.
Small Steps Toward Relief
If functional depression resonates with you, here are gentle, realistic starting points:
- Become Aware. Tune into how you feel, acknowledge when something feels ‘off’, and recognise patterns and triggers that lead to your negative feelings.
- Talk to one safe person. You don’t have to explain everything. “I’ve been struggling more than I let on” is enough.
- Develop a structured daily routine. This provides stability and lessens feelings of overwhelm or unpredictability.
- Exercise: Exercise may increase the level of serotonin in the brain, a neurotransmitter linked to mood regulation, sleep, libido, and appetite. It can also increase the circulating levels of endorphins, which help to make us feel good, as well as relaxed after working out.
- Allocate time for hobbies. Taking up a hobby can bring about a sense of accomplishment that can reduce the effect of functional depression.
- Connect with others. Join a walking group, or another social activity. Connecting with others has shown to increase feel-good hormones like dopamine and seratonin. It creates a buffer against isolation and becoming part of a community or supporting others provides meaning and fulfillment.
- Seek professional support if possible. Therapy isn’t only for crises; it’s for sustained emotional strain too.
- Rest without earning it. You don’t have to be exhausted enough to deserve rest.
If This Is You
If you’re reading this and thinking, “This sounds like me,” you’re not broken, lazy, or ungrateful. You’re a person who has learned how to survive while struggling. If you recognise yourself or someone you care about in these descriptions, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. A clinical counsellor can provide a thorough assessment, offer evidence-based treatment, and support you on your journey to recovery. If you’re ready to take the next step, Sydney Hills Counselling is here to help. We offer a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your concerns and work together towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.
Contact Sydney Hills Counselling today on (02) 9159-6277 for a confidential chat about how we can help you to come to terms with your loss or contacting us via email at [email protected] for a timely response to your inquiry. You can also leave a voice message on (02) 9159-6277.
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